


A Little Lesson On Your Nightmares

by SlightlyOff7



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Pre-Tartartus, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-05-11 09:17:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5621791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlightlyOff7/pseuds/SlightlyOff7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natsu's faced criminals, assassins, raging beasts, dark wizards, giant robots, a rogue Wizard Saint, a time traveling megalomaniac, and even a dragon or two. But even he's not prepared for an enemy that he can't punch, or burn, or even see. What do you do when your only opponent is your own mind? He'll need a lot of help to stay sane. Particularly from a certain blonde Celestial Spirit Mage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Look Into My Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Well, everyone, welcome to my fic! This has been up on FF.net for a while, but I finally got an AO3 account, so I wanted to post it up here too. My update schedule is, honestly, completely random and subjective, so I don't know when this will be finished. But it will. Promise. This story is set pre-Tartaros arc, and you may as well set it pre-Sun Village, too, though it's placing around that doesn't really matter. Hope you enjoy, and kudos and reviews are greatly appreciated!

Natsu was dying. The world was a disorienting swirl of color around him, and his thoughts were muddled and slow. He was wracked with pain, like something had ripped through his intestines and left him hollow and empty. He couldn’t quite remember where he was or what he had been doing, but he knew that he didn’t have long. With that thought finding its way through his thick-as-molasses psyche, he groaned the only word he could force through his mouth.

“Luuuce...” he mumbled.

“Oh, be quiet you,” she grumbled. “We’ve only been on the train for two hours, and in that time you’ve complained about your stomach more than Happy complains about my lack of fresh fish for him in my pantry. You’ll just have to tough it out for the next four too.” _Wait, what?_ Lucy’s tone was an interesting mixture of amused and exasperated, betraying just how many times she’d heard this particular spiel, and how endearing it had become to see her fierce partner, the mighty Salamander, done in by a vehicle. _Oh yeah, that’s why I’m dying._

“Hey, there’s no way I’m as big of a crybaby as Natsu! And seriously, who doesn’t keep fish in their kitchen? Tell her, Natsu!” The blue Exceed was perched on the top of Natsu’s seat, indignantly stuffing his cheeks with a fish the attendant had retrieved for the, as she put it, “pwetty wittle talking kitty!”

“Four hours…hurrgh,…I’m not gonna make it….” groaned the pink-haired Dragon Slayer, as his stomach made a particularly vehement request to eject itself and all its contents onto the cabin’s well-maintained carpet. “Where’s Wendy with Troia when you need her?” Gradually, though, his vision cleared enough to look about the cabin. He was, indeed, on the train they had boarded earlier that morning, which explained why his stomach was currently rearranging his other organs in a desperate scramble to leave his body. He saw that Gray was staring out the window at the rolling countryside, lost in thought, while Erza intently studied a piece of paper and the small package included with it. Lucy had been reading a book, but paused to look at her poor teammate. Her words had been scathing, but her eyes betrayed good-natured forbearance. Natsu had always enjoyed looking into Lucy’s eyes. They held all the warmth of melted chocolate, but there was a certain strength to them as well. They could burn with anger or bore into you with curiosity, but they never held anything back. Lucy could say whatever she liked, but her eyes always told the true story. Natsu valued that in her. It meant she was an honest person, whose soul shone through her every action. Natsu had always disliked people who could lie with their eyes. Natsu felt extremely queasy, but with no apparent relief in sight, he decided to at least look for a better place to rest his head. Lying down sometimes helped take some of the edge off of his grievous motion sickness. In the small train cabin, however, the only place in comfortable range was occupied by one Lucy Heartfilia. Deciding that not puking his guts up was worth risking his partner’s wrath, Natsu quickly rested his head on her lap. She was wearing a short skirt, so he felt her warm skin against his cheek as he faced outward at the other booth, letting out a small sigh at the comforting sensation. Lucy let out a sound somewhere between a squawk and a squeal, a vibrant blush blossoming on her cheeks.

“Natsu! What are you doing? Get off!” Her embarrassment only deepened when Happy chimed in with his customary, “He liiiikes you!” and Gray looked over at the situation and snickered. Lucy could practically smell the snide comment coming.

Natsu groaned, “Aww, c’mon Luce, I feel really sick. Can I please just lay here so I don’t puke?” He twisted his head around to shoot her a pleading look out of his eye, the motion making Lucy squirm in her seat.

She seemed to struggle with her answer for a bit, before grudgingly stating, “Fine. But you’re out of here on your ass as soon as this train stops.” Natsu mumbled his thanks and promptly closed his eyes, trying to focus on Lucy’s soothing warmth and not on the roiling cauldron that was his stomach. He began to actually feel a little better as he did so, but opened his eyes again when he heard Gray speak up.

“You’ve been looking at that job sheet nonstop ever since we got on the train, Erza. What’s up? I know it’s a weird one, but why do you keep going over it like you’re expecting to find something you missed?"

The armor-clad redhead looked up at Gray’s question, a deep furrow in her brow. “I just find the whole thing rather odd. Mardell takes the job, arrives to claim it, and then vanishes. No one heard or saw anything, which is wildly inconsistent with his aim of taking down a whole nest of Vulcans. The ruckus would have been heard for miles around.”

“Wha...What are you talking about, Erza?” Natsu queried from Lucy’s lap. Erza looked at him with stern disapproval.

“The train ride seems to have addled your senses even more than usual. The job we’re headed to, remember? Lamia Scale wanted our help tracking down a missing guild mate. His name is Logan Mardell. He accepted a job to remove a clan of Vulcans in the forest town of Alia, and then disappeared before ever returning to claim the reward."

Natsu grimaced. “Why does Lamia Scale want with us anyway? I thought their master hated asking other guilds for help,” he asked, his queasiness abating enough to allow him full use of speech.

“They wanted our help because Alia is on the edge of the Werth Woodsea, and there’s no way they’ll ever find Logan in there without a Dragon Slayer’s nose.” erza held up the small brown package with a malicious glint in her eye. “Lyon was kind enough to include a pair of Logan’s socks, taken from his lodgings.”

Gray chuckled at that, joining the conversation with, “You’re our own personal bloodhound, Natsu.”

“Say that again… ice pick…” Natsu grumbled, but his heart wasn’t in the challenge, and neither was his stomach.

“So why did Lamia Scale send us a job to find one of their own by ourselves?” Lucy queried. Seemingly without thinking it, her hand had found its way onto Natsu’s head and begun to stroke his pink curls. That gave him a whole new level of comfort. “Seems like they’d at least want to be here, they’re pretty proud.”

“They’re stretched very thin right now,” Erza told her. “There are only newer members at the guild hall right now, and this job was a difficult one to begin with. Logan’s no pushover, apparently, so his disappearance means we’re likely dealing with something they wouldn’t be able to handle. Lyon’s on his way, but he’s returning from another job, and Alia is geographically closer to Magnolia anyway. So they asked us for help.”

“It’ll be nice to see Lyon again. Haven’t seen him since the Games,” Gray mused. With the issue resolved, the compartment relapsed into comfortable silence. The rest of the four hours passed surprisingly quickly to Natsu. He actually managed to drift to sleep for a few minutes on Lucy’s lap, until the train lurched when rounding a bend and shattered his fragile equilibrium for a time. Lucy stroked his hair all the way, and even seemed a tad bit disappointed when the train finally ground to a stop in the small logging town of Alia.

Natsu stumbled out onto the platform and collapsed, until he recovered from his final wave of nausea and immediately jumped up, exclaiming, “Finally! I’m all fired up now! Let’s find a place to eat around here!” He took the opportunity to look around at their destination. Alia was a logging town, hence its proximity to the Woodsea. It was a humble and rough-hewn place, its buildings built mostly out of the old oak of its trees or gray stone from the nearby quarry, but it had a certain charm too. It thrummed with people going about their business, and the market square was bustling with tradesman selling their wares. It was what you expected when you heard the term “working man’s town”. Seems nice enough, Natsu thought. As the other members of Team Natsu disembarked, they looked about with mild interest.

“Aww, I don’t smell any fish,” bemoaned Happy as he floated out of the train.

“Eating will have to wait,” Erza said firmly. “This job is serious. Mardell could be in trouble. We should try to find him first. I suggest we make contact with the person who tendered the original job request to Lamia Scale. They may be able to tell us where he was headed.” She looked at the job request sheet, and began walking into town. The others followed suit. As it turned out, the request had been sent to Lamia Scale by a local logging tycoon, who had had previous dealings with the guild when they chased away a dark guild trying to extort him some years back. When the four Fairy Tail wizards arrived, he gave them every courtesy, inviting them into his spacious house and having snacks brought to his study for them. He sat down at his desk, smoothing down his salt-and-pepper hair.

“I must thank you again for coming,” he said once the servant had brought sandwiches on a silver platter. Natsu began wolfing his down with gusto, and began staring hungrily at Gray’s when finished. “I would never be as successful as I am today without the help of wizards, especially Lamia Scale. That is why I still send my occasional requests to them, even though Magnolia is technically closer. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Nah, it’s all good. All wizard guilds appreciate loyal clients,” Gray replied smoothly.

“Bet we could do a better job than those mermaid guys.” Natsu muttered. He made a quiet whimpering sound when Lucy kicked him in the shins.

“But when that good fellow Mr. Mardell never returned to collect the reward, and I called their, ah, rather assertive Guild Master, I knew something was wrong. That’s why I’m glad you are here. Though I am told that Lyon Vastia will also be joining you at some point?”

All business, Erza replied, “Yes, he was the one who initially informed us of this problem. He estimates he will be here in about another day or so. So what can you tell us of the last time you saw Logan Mardell, and of the job you sent him on?”

The old man’s brow crinkled, his gray eyes peering out from the crags of his face at some unseen memory. “The young man came to my mansion about 5 days ago, asking for a briefing. I own a logging operation some ways into the forest, where the tallest and healthiest trees are found. Recently, a local clan of Vulcans had become extremely agitated, and were attacking my machinery and harassing my workers. He promised to find their nest and send them packing deeper into the forest. After that, he went to inspect my operation, and then went further into the forest, following their tracks. He has not been seen since. Though, I might add, neither have those Vulcans.” Natsu wondered if that meant he had completed the job.

“So do you think they might have captured him, like that one did to Macao on Mt. Hakobe?” Lucy asked, looking at Natsu.

“It’s possible, I suppose,” the old man interjected, “but he seemed quite confident in his abilities. He gave me the impression this was a small task for him.”

“We would like to inspect your facilities in the Werth Woodsea, sir.” Erza stood up, her face set in a visage of determination. “We shall track him from there.”

“Certainly, I shall contact the foreman.” And just like that, Natsu, Lucy, Gray, and Erza found themselves regarding the tall oaks of the Werth Woodsea.

“Let’s try to find this guy quickly,” Gray asked. “I don’t exactly have the fondest memories of this place.”

“I agree,” Erza said airily, “so Natsu, how about you put that nose of yours to good use?” She held up the dirty old sock to his face, and Natsu wrinkled his nose.

“Ugh, no need to bring that thing closer, Erza. I can smell it just fine from over there.” The odor was so strong, Natsu suspected it could be used much in the same way one used a chloroform rag. He quickly identified Logan Mardell’s scent, several days old, and began to follow his trail into the undergrowth. It led him through a series of rough paths, with the pungent musk of Vulcan scent interspersed through it. He was definitely on the right track, thought Natsu. Their scents getting stronger, and so is his. Eventually, they reached a large clearing, in the center of which was a sizable cave. “I smell Vulcan all over this place,” Natsu told the others as he inspected the cave, “but it’s all days old. Like they left a while ago.”

“You think this was their nest, and Mardell actually finished the job?” asked Gray

. “It’s possible, but I don’t see any signs of a struggle,” Erza said in response.

“Yeah,” Lucy agreed, “you’d think they’d put up some kind of a fight, right? Or could they still be here?” She looked around at the forest’s dark branches with apprehension.

“Hey guys, look what I found!” exclaimed Happy. He was hovering over a pile of ash near the side of the cave, undisturbed because of the lack of wind in the forest. Running over to inspect them, Natsu inhaled the familiar scent of ash and smoke, but they smelled strange to him.

He inched his nose closer, prompting Gray to add, “What’s up, Natsu? Don’t have enough ash in your brains?”

“Shut it, snowflake. These ashes smell…wrong, somehow.” Natsu’s brow was furrowed, and he was concentrating deeply. “Like…, they weren’t caused by a fire. I can usually catch whiffs of whatever fire made ashes, like an old taste on the air, but these… It’s like whatever it was just crumbled away, without fire. And believe me, I know ashes.” The others pondered what exactly Natsu’s instinct could mean, when a familiar scent caught his attention, and they heard footsteps at the edge of the clearing. What Natsu saw when he looked over stopped him in his tracks. There was a man, about forty years of age and in wizard robes, standing there. But what terrified Natsu were his eyes. They had black sclera, with baleful amber irises and pupils like black holes. When he looked into them, Natsu felt cold all over, as if he’d suddenly been dropped into an icy lake. _That’s not right_ , Natsu thought sluggishly, _I never get cold_. Suddenly, he keeled over, the hard ground rushing up to meet him. He heard someone’s cry of dismay, as if from a thousand miles away, and his last thought before blacking out was, _Lucy_.


	2. It's Dark Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was also already writ- I mean I'm just lightning fast like that. Totally. Yeah... first two chapter titles taken from Imagine Dragons' "Demons". Yeah, real original, I know.

When Natsu awoke, it was to the smell of cinders and blood. Rising groggily from where he laid spread-eagled on the ground, he looked around at his surroundings and was shocked at the devastation he saw. The ruins of some building were strewn about him, black smoke billowing from heaps of smoldering slag. The sky was the color of a bruise, an ugly mottled purple shot through with red. The floor he had awoken on was made of wood, but outside the perimeter of the ruined structure he could see cobblestone streets covered in ash.

 

“Where am I?” Natsu asked the air, bewildered. He couldn’t remember how he got here, or why the sky was so strange, but he knew he had to find his team. “Where is everybody? HAPPY?! LUCY?! Where’d you guys go?” he called out. “ERZA! GRAY! Come on, you guys, where a……” At that moment, Natsu froze. He had noticed a familiar piece of cloth amidst the rubble. When he approached it, he felt a heavy sense of dread settle in the pit of his stomach. Because there amongst the ruins of its once grand guild hall was the Fairy Tail banner, tattered and burned. Suddenly, Natsu heard a familiar sound, a sound that when juxtaposed with the bleak tableau around him made his heart flutter with apprehension. It was the sound of a little girl crying.

 

“Wendy?”

 

The young Sky Dragon Slayer was wandering through the wreckage of the guild hall, crying softly and calling out the names of her guildmates. “Carla? Where’d you go, Carla? Please don’t leave me here! Lucy? Natsu? Where is everybody?” As she stumbled through the debris, her pleas become more frantic. “Erza?! Gray?! You guys promised! You promised you would never leave me! Why did you leave? Carla?! Lucy? NATSU?!”

 

“I’m over here! Wendy, it’s okay, I’m right here!” Natsu yelled as he ran towards her. But his words didn’t seem to register with her. Undaunted, he closed the distance between them and tried to wrap her in his arms. But that failed when his arms seemed to phase through her as if he was an illusion. _What the…_ he thought, dumbstruck, _why is it like I’m not real?_ Wendy, seemingly oblivious to Natsu’s presence, took off further into the guild hall’s remnants, crying inconsolably. “Hey, wait! Come back Wendy!” Natsu called after her. But she didn’t hear him. He was about to sprint after her, when he heard more crying off in the distance. But this weeping was much less familiar. It was female, but huskier and deeper than Wendy’s, and sadder too, it seemed. Like it was tinged with a lifetime’s worth of regrets, instead of a childhood of fear and abandonment. As Natsu followed the sound to its source, he began to pick up a scent. Two scents, actually. Both were reassuringly familiar. He then spied a figure off in the distance. Drawing closer, Natsu confirmed that one of those scents belonged to Erza. She was kneeling on the ground, cradling someone’s limp form in her arms. Natsu didn’t need to see the shock of blue hair to identify Jellal.

 

“Erza! Are you okay? What happened to the guild? What’s wrong with Jellal?! How did we get here?” The questions tumbled out of Natsu before he could rein them in, even though he could clearly see his friend was distraught. That enraged him more than he could say. He had vowed to never see her cry again.  Erza raised her tear-stained face, eyes unfocused.

 

“There’s no point anymore. It’s all over. Just make it quick,” she choked out.

 

_Is she talking to me?_ “What are you talking about, Erza? Whatever this is, we can figure it out. Don’t give up! We have to-“ Suddenly, a shadowy figure appeared behind Erza, and Natsu instinctively knew it was no friend. “Erza, run!” He shouted, his fists bursting into flame as he sprinted toward the sinister form. But Erza only closed her eyes, as the dark shadow extended a blade from its hand and opened her throat.

 

“NOOO! ERZA!” Natsu screamed. He swung at Erza’s mysterious killer, but the shadow disappeared, and Natsu twisted to catch the S-Class wizard as she fell back. But it was too late. Blood flowed out of her neck and onto his hands as he tried in vain to staunch the flow. Her eyes were half closed and darkening with every second, and Natsu knew she was gone, even though every fiber of his being rebelled at the very thought.

 

“Come on, Erza,” he implored her as her life flowed out and down her armor, obscenely painting a macabre inkblot onto the unmarked side of Jellal’s face. Tears began to spill from his eyes as he futilely tried to bring back the big sister he never had. “You can’t die. Not like this. I still haven’t beaten you yet. I’m not letting you just give up like that before I ever beat you in a fight. We’ve still got to find the others. Come on, _come on_ , _no_ …” And just like that, Erza Scarlet was dead. Natsu let out a wail of frustration and pain, tears running down off his face. He would have grieved for longer, had he not heard a scream off to his left. He turned at the sound of it, still cradling Erza’s body in his arms, and saw something he’d hoped he never had to see again. It was a scene that had haunted his nightmares as a young teenager, made all the more horrifying by the fact he’d never actually witnessed it. A hulking beast was looming over a petite girl with white hair, as she desperately tried to reason it. _Lisanna,_ his thick with grief brain thought, _it’s when Lisanna was killed._ Even though he’d learned years later that she hadn’t actually died, but gone to Edolas, the initial memory his adolescent mind had created had always stuck with him. But now, Lisanna was the age she was in current times, not in his memories. Maybe that meant he could save her now.

 

“Lisanna!” he cried, lowering Erza to the ground as carefully as he could while hurrying over to his childhood friend. But just like always in his dreams, he was too late. Elfman, unable to control his Take-Over, raised a huge paw and swatted Lisanna aside as easily as he might sweep dust off a table. Natsu heard a sickening _crunch_ and saw her body land a few yards away, her birdlike frame bent and askew. When he reached her, she was staring into the distance with empty blue eyes, her neck bent at an odd angle. Natsu sank down onto his knees, his heart wanting to just give out and stop beating after everything he had seen. His childhood sweetheart’s dead eyes seemed to stare through him, silently accusing him. _You failed,_ they whispered, _you failed Wendy, you failed Erza, and now you failed me._

 

“Please…” Natsu whispered to no one, “Please, just whatever this is, make it stop... I can’t do this anymore…”

 

“ICE-MAKE LANCE!”

 

Natsu dove out of the way, out of pure instinct more than anything else, as sharp tendrils of ice impaled the ground he had just been standing on. He raised his eyes to the source of the attack, confusion and anger swirling through him. He saw Gray standing shirtless a few yards away, in his signature Ice-Make stance, eyes burning.

 

“What the hell, Gray?! What are you doing? Do you have any idea what’s-“

 

“Shut up,” Gray remarked curtly. “I don’t care what you have to say. This ends here.”

 

“What the fuck are you talking about? Can’t you see what’s happened to the guild? What’s happening to our _friends?_ They need help!” Natsu screamed hoarsely at him. _Why is he looking at me like that? Like I’m some kind of monster?_

“I’m tired of your bullshit.” And then he attacked. “Ice-Make Hammer!” Natsu again dodged the wall of ice, hands flaring up with anger. “Ice-Make Knuckle!”

 

Natsu knew he couldn’t evade forever. “Fire Dragon’s Wing Attack!” The wide swathes of flame collided with the frozen projectiles, the two attacks cancelling each other out and exploding. When the mist cleared, Natsu looked straight into Gray’s eyes, and saw something that sent a shiver of dread up his spine, even as it enraged him. Gray’s eyes were as clear and cold as two shards of ice, and Natsu could read the intent written there. This wasn’t some friendly quarrel, or even a disagreement fueled by liquor and testosterone. Gray meant to kill him. Anger welled up inside him, and his gut roiled with a fiery heat as his rage stoked his magic. Whatever was going on in this fucked-up world, he sure as hell didn’t deserve this. His other friends could be in danger, especially the two he had most been hoping to find: his blue-furred best friend and his blonde partner. _They’ll be okay. They’ve gotta be okay._ Unbidden, an image flashed through his head, of Lucy falling from a high tower, the sun turning her hair into fine woven strands of gold, a voice calling out… _Damn it, Gray, dammit, dammit, dammit! I can’t do this right now!_

“Ice-Make Sword: Cold Excalibur!” A shimmering blade of ice appeared in Gray’s hands, and he charged. Natsu knew the only way to get out of this was to knock Gray out and try to reason with his friend later. So he too charged.

 

“Fire Dragon’s Iron Fist!” Natsu’ flames roared, concentrating in his fist as he and Gray charged each other. Their attacks struck each other head on, and their magic released a large explosion. Natsu felt Gray’s sword shatter from his punch, and with a brief flicker of satisfaction, he felt his attack connect with his rival’s body. But instead of Gray being sent flying like he usually would, Natsu experienced a strange sensation, like his fist had gone _through_ him. And then he felt nothing. As the smoke cleared, he saw why.

 

His attack had burned a hole the size of a basketball through Gray’s chest, right where his guild mark should be. Natsu stared in horror and shock as Gray stumbled backwards, a thin film of blood and spittle on his lips. His eyes burned with hate, but there was fear too. And then he fell back, his eyes dimming, and with his final breath he choked out, “Damn you… Natsu...” He hit the ground with a _thud,_ and moved no more. Natsu stood shock-still, mind refusing to process what he had just done. _He’s dead. I killed him. He’s not moving, not getting up. It’s because he’s dead. I killed him. I didn’t mean to. I just…he’s dead._ Natsu felt his eyes prickling, but he had no tears left. He’d seen too much death and despair already. Part of him still expected Gray to just get up again, brush himself off, and continue their fight like nothing had happened, like they’d done for years. But Natsu knew Gray was never getting up again. _Because I killed him…_

A thin, wavering voice called out to him, “Why, Natsu? I thought you were our friend!”

 

_I know that voice._ Natsu shifted his gaze, and beheld Happy’s distraught form, staring up at him as fat tears rolled down his cheeks. He was shaking with fear. “Happy,” Natsu breathed, “you’re okay.” A wave of relief rolled over him. He stumbled towards his best friend, hands stretching out numbly, until he beheld the blood on them. Blood that belonged to both Erza and Gray.

 

Happy could smell it, and he had just seen Natsu murder Gray with his own hands. He backed away from the man who had hatched and raised him, the man who was covered in the blood of dead guild mates. “S-Stay away!” he shouted, voice quivering and rising in pitch. “Don’t come any closer! I said stay back!”

 

 Natsu froze, seeing the all-consuming terror in Happy’s eyes. He again looked down at the blood covering his body, and then back up at the Exceed. “Happy, it’s not what you think,” he said hoarsely, desperation seeping into his voice. “I didn’t… I never wanted to… Gray, he just… and Erza, I-“

 

“No! I don’t believe you!” Happy shouted at him. His voice was filled with fear and loathing. “Don’t come near me! I don’t want anything to do with you! I HATE YOU!” He sprouted his wings and took flight, speeding away from Natsu as his tears streamed off him and into the air.

 

Natsu ran after him as fast as he could, but it felt as though his legs were made of lead. “NO, HAPPY! COME BACK! I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU! I PROMISE! I-“ Happy disappeared into the horizon. Natsu fell to his knees, bloody hands outstretched, as though beseeching Happy to take him with him and away from this hell. But like everyone else, Happy was gone. And Natsu was alone. He put his hands and made a sound of utter frustration and despair, before punching the ground in anger, his flames and pure strength cracking it underneath him. He stayed there, hunched over and defeated like a wounded animal, until a voice called out to him. Natsu dreaded hearing that voice. He had searched and searched for it, but finally hearing it meant that she was here, and no one was safe here. He had to get to her. It meant more to him than his life, more to him than anything. Whatever twisted and cruel fate this world had in store for her, he would gladly accept it upon himself. He just had to find her. He had to. _Lucy._

He saw her soon, amidst the wreckage, looking distressed but unharmed. He sprinted faster, determined to reach her before this place could take her from him like it had taken everyone else. As he drew near, she stretched her hands out to him and smiled, undaunted by the sight his tear-streaked face and bloody clothing and hands. _Of course she would,_ Natsu thought deliriously, _she always accepts me, no matter how I look._ But as he finally reached his partner, she paused, a puzzled expression on her face. She looked downward, and as Natsu followed her bewildered expression, his breath stopped. She looked back up at him, and her lips parted, as though about to ask why there was a blade of black shadow protruding from her heart, dripping with her blood.

 

“Lucy…” Natsu whispered, as soft as a breeze.  Then louder. “ _LUUCYY!”_

She fell forward, into his arms, and he wrapped them around her. But unlike the many other times he had done this, she didn’t return his embrace. Instead, she seemed to be in a state of incomprehension, even as blood welled up out of the wound the phantom blade had left. “Na…Natsu? Wh-“

 

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. Don’t talk, just stay with me. _Stay with me, Luce_ ,” Natsu beseeched her. But he wasn’t there, not really. He was in a palace that smelled of flowers, watching as a girl died in her own arms from a blade of shadow.

 

“Why… didn’t you save me?” She looked up at him, and now her eyes had an accusatory look in them, even as her vision dimmed.

 

“I’m sorry, Luce. I should have… I’ll save you, don’t worry. Wendy’s here somewhere, we’ll find her, and she can heal you.” Natsu knew that was a lie, but right now it had to be true, because this was Lucy, _his Lucy,_ and she couldn’t die. Not like this. Not ever. Natsu thought he had shed all his tears, but he was wrong. They were cascading down his face once more, as he beheld his dying partner. “C’mon Luce, you can’t go yet. We still need to have more adventures. You and me, and-“ Images flashed through his mind. An immaculate chest plate, stained scarlet by hair and blood. A small girl, running through the wreckage of her life alone and afraid again. A hole, where a heart used to beat beneath a blue fairy and a wall of ice. A trail of tears ascending into the sky, like raindrops. “Just you and me. How about that, Luce? You and me, going on an adventure.  Would you like that?”

 

Natsu was speaking frantically now, trying to keep Lucy with him, trying to spill out his heart before hers did. “You can’t go, Luce. There’s so much stuff we never got to do. I never got to tell you why I always called you weird. It’s cause you always make feel so weird. Like whenever we’re around each other, I get this weird buzzing in my gut, like I just ate the best fire in the world.” Natsu had no idea what he was saying now, but he knew he meant it with every fiber of his being, knew it like he knew his own name. “You can’t go, Luce. I won’t let you. I won’t let you leave, not now. Please don’t go. Don’t leave me alone again, Lucy, _please.”_ But his pleas were all for naught, as he looked into Lucy’s eyes, those warm, beautiful, vibrant chocolate brown eyes. And watched them grow cold with death.

 

“No…” Natsu refused to accept what he had seen, what he was holding in his arms. “No! NO! NOOOOOO! LUCY!” He buried his face in her hair, trying to catch one last whiff of her beautiful scent, but all he smelled was blood. Blood and tears. That was when he heard his father.

 

“Oh Natsu, what a failure you are.”

 

Natsu didn’t raise his head for several seconds, but he did, cradling Lucy’s body in his arms. “Dad? Where are you?” He cast his eyes about, but he couldn’t see his surrogate father anywhere.

 

Igneel didn’t answer that. Instead, he said, “I thought I taught you better, Natsu. I gave you my magic so you could do great things with it. So you could help people. But a dragon’s greatest possessions, his treasures, are ultimately what matters most to him. Yet here you are, all your treasures strewn about like so many ragdolls, cradling the most precious of them in your arms like a child with a broken toy, hoping for someone to come along and fix it.”

 

There was no mistaking that voice. It belonged to the dragon who had raised Natsu, who had given him his magic, the greatest gift he had ever received. But at the same time, it couldn’t be. Igneel’s voice had never been that cold, so full of disappointment and malice.

 

“It seems I chose the wrong person to entrust with my magic. You are not worthy of it, Natsu. You are not worthy of that scarf you wear. You are not worthy of being called my son.”

 

Natsu was crushed, mentally and emotionally. He just wanted this nightmare to end, to die so he could be with all his friends again, so he could see his Lucy again. It was then that he felt the exhaustion pulling at him, whispering insidiously to give up. So he did. He closed his eyes and slipped into the void.

 

“-atsu? Can you hear me? Come on, Natsu, you have to wake up!” he was swimming in darkness, a tiny pinprick of light his only illumination. So he forced his way through to it, and it widened and encompassed him. He awoke with a jolt, and was dimly aware of soft hands on his shoulders and fine strands of hair tickling his face as he bolted up. Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit him, worse than anything he had experienced on the train, and he lunged to the side before vomiting. As he emptied his stomach onto the floor, those soft hands held his pink locks out of his face and rubbed his back in soothing circles. When his last ejection had ended, he slumped, kneeling on the cold stone floor. Then the hands spoke to him. “Good thing that’s over, thank god. I was really worried. Are you-“ Lucy made a small gasp as Natsu pulled her into the tightest embrace of her life. He knew he smelled awful, and probably looked it too, but he didn’t care, as long as she knew how glad he was that she was alive. Natsu seemed to be trying to fold her into himself, as though he could keep her safe and protected in some secret chamber inside him. He didn’t realize that he was shaking, or that tears were running down his cheeks onto her head, until a short while later. When he pulled back, Lucy sucked in air, as Natsu’s bear hug had cut off her supply. Her face was worried, but happy too, and she seemed unharmed. Looking around, it seemed that Natsu had been brought inside the cave while unconscious.

 

“What happened to you, Natsu? Do you remember anything?” She asked, sympathy and concern in her voice.

 

Natsu vehemently shook his head. “I…I can’t talk about it. Not now.” He smiled, a tired, pale shade of his usual toothy grin. “I’m just… so glad you’re okay.” Lucy seemed like she was about to ask what that meant, but at that moment a voice called out to them. The sound of it took another weight off Natsu’s mind.

 

“Natsu!” Erza ran up to the two partners, her normally measured voice betraying relief and worry. “You’re awake! Thank goodness. Are you alright?”

 

Natsu smiled up at her. “Yeah, I will be. Good to see you are.”

 

Erza’s eyes darkened. “His magic didn’t work as well on me. My synthetic eye, I think, but it barely prolonged his attack enough for me to close my eyes. You and Gray weren’t so lucky.”

 

Saying a silent prayer, followed Erza’s eyes, and was confronted with the image of Gray sitting against the side of the cave, knees drawn up around himself and eyes lowered. Shaken, but alive. Natsu breathed a sigh of relief. _Just a dream, then._ But Gray was clearly upset. The smell of vomit and tears wafted off of him, much as it did with Natsu.

 

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Natsu when he thought back to seeing that wizard with the strange black eyes. “Erza, that guy who attacked us…”

 

“Yes, I know. It is quite disturbing.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Lucy asked, eyes darting between the two. “Do you think that guy did something to Mardell?”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mention this to you earlier, Lucy, but I was more preoccupied with whatever he did to Natsu and Gray.” She glanced back at the Ice-Make Mage, silent and withdrawn.

 

“That man, the one who attacked us… That _was_ Logan Mardell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens! I'm not quite sure of this, but do you guys think this chapter merits the archive warning? I added it just to be sure, but this should be as bad as it gets (I think :) Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Things We Lost In The Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loyal readers! (Well, I have no idea whether you read this loyally or not, but I like to delude myself.) It's me, back with another chapter. Thanks to everyone who left kudos on and bookmarked the last one, and I hope you enjoy the next. Chapter title is taken from the Bastille song of the same name.

After Erza’s announcement, Lucy was temporarily stunned into silence. She blinked a few times before regaining her voice. “But how is that even possible?” she asked, brow furrowed in bewilderment. “He’s been missing for a while now. Why would he just be hanging around in the forest? And why would he attack us? It makes no sense.” Natsu was just as bewildered as she was. 

“I haven’t the slightest clue,” Erza confessed. “But it does seem to have been man the real man, as Natsu identified him on scent alone. Glamour magic can’t copy someone’s smell. He’s sniffed impostors out on multiple occasions." A troubled silence punctuated Erza's speech, as she glanced back at the dense thicket of trees their quarry had appeared from. "But his eyes… I withheld this for that very reason. I wanted to be sure it was him when we found him, in case he was…unidentifiable.” Erza fished a worn photograph out of the same parcel that had held Logan’s socks. “His eyes were all wrong. Just look at this picture.” Lucy accepted the photo, holding it up so Natsu could see too. It was a picture of Mardell with a drink in hand, smiling at a joke told by someone in Lamia Scale’s guild hall. All the features were the same. Mardell had straight brown hair, a close-cropped and well kempt beard, and blue robes with the Lamia Scale insignia in red on the sleeves. Only one part of him differed from their assailant. In the picture, his gray-green eyes twinkled with amusement. An involuntary shudder went through Natsu when he recalled Logan’s strange new black and amber eyes. Something’s wrong with him, that’s for sure. 

Glancing around the clearing again, the dragon slayer experienced a twinge of fear when a familiar shock of blue hair didn’t greet him. “Where’s Happy?” 

Lucy looked back to Natsu, sympathy in her gaze. “We sent him back to the logging camp for help when you and Gray collapsed. He should be back any minute.”

Natsu breathed a sigh of relief, before pulling himself up into a more attentive sitting position. “Good. Hey, that reminds me, how did you and him not get hit by that guy’s magic?” 

His partner’s eyes were full of concern, but she gave him a wry smile as well, and the look warmed him ever so slightly. “Instincts and luck, I guess. When you started to collapse, I caught you just before you could hit the ground. Gray and Erza’s first thought after that was to identify the danger. Mine and Happy’s was to check and see if you were okay. Before we could look up, Erza yelled at us to close our eyes, so we did. We heard Gray hit the ground right after that. So I guess I should thank you for taking the hit first.” 

“Nah, I should thank you for catching me. I would have had a face-full of dirt otherwise.” Natsu said quietly, returning Lucy’s smile with one of his own. It made him feel strangely good inside to know that Lucy cared about him so much, that her first reaction in a dangerous situation was to make sure he was safe. And he always had Happy to look after him too.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want that now, would we?” Gray’s tired voice floated over to them from where he still sat against the cave wall, now looking over at where Lucy and Natsu knelt on the ground. Though his tone was sarcastic, his eyes betrayed only weariness and fatigue.

Erza approached him with an apologetic look on her face. “Sorry about that. I would’ve caught you, if only-“

“Nah, it’s alright,” Gray said. He began to unsteadily rise to his feet, seemingly swaying a little before placing a hand on the stone wall for support. “I just really want to get out of here.”

“We will,” Erza promised, “as soon as Happy returns. It looks like we’ll have to rethink our strategy in regards to tracking him, if he can incapacitate us with just those eyes, so retreat seems to be the only viable option right now.” It seemed that fortune was on their side for once. Not a minute after Erza’s statement, a group of people emerged from the path Team Natsu had followed into the forest clearing. Leading them was Happy, who at seeing his best friend up and about again, shouted for joy. Natsu was just as ecstatic, quickly lurching from his sitting position to embrace his friend. Thank Mavis you’re safe too.

“NATSU!” Happy launched himself through the air, flying at full velocity into Natsu's outstretched arms.

“Hey little buddy, glad to see you’re-WO-WOAH!” Not quite recovered from Mardell’s mental assault, Natsu was imbalanced by the sudden push and began to topple backwards, even as Happy sobbed inconsolably into his shoulder. He would have continued his descent, had Lucy not wrapped her arms around him and held on for dear life.

“Watch out, Happy, he hasn’t recovered yet!” Lucy yelled angrily as she struggled to push Natsu into an upright position once more. Natsu, meanwhile, couldn’t imagine a better position than receiving bear hugs from his two best friends in the world, even as he tottered dangerously on the heels of his feet. Finally succeeding in stabilizing the pair, Lucy exhaled a mighty gust, wiping her brow. “And you call me heavy! Sheesh! You guys are the ones who need to lay off the food for once!”

Happy seemed not to notice any of this, still blubbering in Natsu’s arms. “I-I was so worried! One second y-you were fine and then you just fainted and started making weird noises!” Tears were streaming down his face.

“Hey, I’m fine, little guy! You don’t need to worry,” Natsu consoled the weepy Exceed, though his voice let on how tired and worn he really was. He shot a questioning glance over to Lucy at Happy’s statement about noises. Lucy responded by mouthing “tell you later”.

One of the men from the group that had followed Happy stepped forward, looking to address Natsu. The rosy-haired mage recognized him as the foreman they’d met earlier. He was burly and rough looking, with a ripped sleeveless flannel shirt that showed off his impressive biceps. He wore an orange construction helmet, but his eyes were a shade of gray that reminded Natsu of a brewing storm. They lent a certain intelligence to his otherwise standard lumberjack appearance. He spoke with a smooth, well cultured voice as well.

“What happened out here? Your blue friend told us you were attacked by someone?” He glanced around the clearing warily, alert for any signs of danger.

“Yes,” Erza replied for him, “we were accosted by someone while searching for the missing Lamia Scale member in the forest. In fact, it was that very man who attacked us. He may be under the influence of some kind of control or possession magic.” Surprise shown in the man’s gaze, but he held his tongue while Erza finished. “Either way, two of our members were affected by an unknown kind of magic. We need to regroup, and your men should probably evacuate the area as well.”

The man blinked, but seemed to fully comprehend the deluge of information. He responded briskly. “Alright then, we’ll take you back to the work site. The boss is waiting there. That evacuation will have to be talked about further, though.” He gestured authoritatively to his men, who formed a semicircle around Team Natsu as they began their trek back to the logging camp. 

As they walked (or in Happy’s case, flew), exhaustion unlike anything he’d felt in a long while gnawed at Natsu, and his feet began dragging as his head nodded listlessly. This must be a side effect of the magic, he thought. I feel like I haven’t slept in a week. It was beginning to slow him down considerably. He was surprised when he felt Lucy wrap an arm around his waist, and position his arm across her shoulders.

“Here, you look like you could use some help,” she said, somewhat shyly. When he turned to look at her, he didn’t fail to notice the faint blush that was slowly creeping up her cheeks at their proximity. As he felt his own face heat up, he suspected they both looked like a pair of idiots. He opened his mouth to protest, about to tell her she didn’t need to trouble herself helping him, but she beat him to it. “It’s alright, I don’t mind. I mean, you’ve done this for me so many times, it’s only fair I help you when you need it, right?” Though it seemed she was trying her hardest to keep her embarrassment bottled up and locked away in some dark corner of her thoughts, and not exactly succeeding at it, her face had a determined set to it. And this is a lot easier with her supporting me, Natsu decided. Whether that was the only reason he decided to accept her help or not, well, the jury was still out on that one.

“Thanks,” he finally managed to say, giving her a rueful toothy grin.

“Aw, what a pair of lovebirds. Get a room, you two.” Gray was smirking in their direction as he trudged along, trying his best to put on a brave face and look superior, even as he stumbled over a lose rock in the path. Lucy’s face grew even redder at the suggestion, and she opened her mouth to give Gray an angry rebuke, but Natsu had to get in his licks, too.

“At least I’m not trying to look cool while I trip over my own feet, snowflake!” Natsu sneered. The ice make mage grinned spitefully back, his eyes straying from the path to leer at the pair.

“The only one who looked like they were about to die standing up was you, flame-breath. I’m doing just fine over he-WAH!” Gray never finished his disparaging comment, as he tripped over a particularly thick root he had missed. He looked as though he was about to face plant for the second time that day, but this time, Erza was prepared. In one fluid motion, she turned and caught Gray, righting him with a bemused smile.

“Ready to reconsider that statement?” she asked him. Gray sighed in defeat.

“Yeah, I guess,” he huffed. He probably expected Erza to give him a shoulder in support. What he did not expect was for the redhead to unceremoniously sling him over said shoulder and carry him as one would carry a sack of potatoes.

“Hey, I’m not that tired! You don’t have to carry me like I’m dead!” he exclaimed.

“Of course not,” Erza replied matronly, “if you were dead, I would carry you much more reverently. But since you’ve just been affected by some unknown magic, my only concern is making sure you don’t overexert yourself.”

Natsu laughed inwardly as Gray resigned himself to his fate. Deciding to rub some salt in the wound, he stuck his tongue out at the raven haired man, and watched in in glee as Gray silently fumed at him over Erza’s shoulder and threatened an excruciating and painful death on Natsu as silently as he could, so as not to incur Erza’s wrath. Glancing back at the display, a deep chuckle rumbled from the foreman’s chest as he regarded the five friends.

It wasn’t long after that when the group finally arrived back at the logging camp, where they found the old owner waiting for them. He rose from where he’d been seated on a stack of logs, a relieved expression on his face.

“Thank goodness you’re alright,” he said. “When your cat friend said you’d been attacked and weren’t waking up, we feared the worst.”

“The spell’s effects seem to have been temporary, but all the same, we need to reconsider our approach.” Erza lowered Gray back onto his feet as she spoke, the ice-make wizard hurriedly straightening so as to try to reclaim some of his wounded masculinity. “The man who attacked was none other than Logan Mardell, and we believe he was under some kind of spell. His eyes were a completely different color, and he used them to cast an unknown kind of magic on Natsu and Gray here that put them in some kind of trance. They didn’t wake up until about an hour later, apparently having had horrific visions.”

“She thinks we should evacuate the site,” the foreman chimed in. “Pack it all up until they figure out how to get him out of here.”

The client grew even more concerned at this news, eyes widening. “That’s terrible. I never anticipated that could have happened to poor Mr. Mardell. But do you really think evacuation is necessary, Ms. Scarlet?” he asked. “This is my main site. Shutting it down, even temporarily, will drastically affect my company and all of its employees.”

Erza gave him a sympathetic but resolute look. “I can’t order you to do anything, sir, but I think it would be wise. We have no idea what is wrong with Mardell, and he could pose a serious threat to your workers if they continue to work so near his apparent location. The decision is yours.”

“Since it affects them either way, the choice really belongs to my men.” The owner turned to his foreman. “Send out a general call to all the men. Inform them of the situation, then put it to a vote.”

The foreman walked away towards the camp, then put his fingers to his mouth and let out a high-pitched whistle. The lumberjacks around the site stopped what their work and assembled around their boss. They proceeded to have a short discussion, which they all seemed to leave satisfied from. After the brief exchange, the foreman walked back to the group. “They’ve decided to stay,” he declared. “They need the money from this operation as much as we do, Pops. Besides, if he shows up, he can’t zap all of us before one of us tackles the poor bastard. We’re not exactly defenseless out here either, remember?” A glint appeared in the foreman’s stormy eyes as he said this. He cupped one of his sizable hands, and in his palm materialized a miniature whirlwind, the breeze stirring the air in the space between the group.

“You know magic?” Lucy asked, surprised.

The old owner replied for him. “I was so enamored with the Lamia Scale mage that completed my first job request, I eventually married her.” A small smile appeared on the man’s face. “She passed on her gifts to my son here.” His voice was thick with pride. Natsu was impressed that not only did the owner’s son know magic, but he clearly worked alongside his men and inspired great loyalty in them, when he could have just waited to inherit the business from his aged father.

“Well, if they want to stay, that’s their prerogative,” Erza conceded. “But we still need to contact Lyon and plan our next move. We’ll need to secure lodgings and wait for his arrival.”

“That reminds me,” said the owner, “are you fine wizards being compensated for this service by anyone?’

“We never really discussed any payment with Lamia Scale,” Erza responded. “We agreed to this mostly because of the friendship between our guilds. We’re all secure in our finances, though. You shouldn’t pay us alongside the reward you already owe Lamia Scale.” Lucy looked like she wanted to speak up about that “secure finances” comment, but she didn’t need to.

“Nonsense!” The tycoon exclaimed. “You’ve performed an important service for me today, and been attacked for it as well! I could never let you just bear the expenses on your own. I’ll see you’re all paid well for this on our return to town. And should you require room and board, allow me to recommend the Hollow Oak Inn. It’s clean, comfortable, and the owner is an old friend of mine. He’ll ensure you’re well looked after.”

“Thanks so much,” Lucy said as she tried to discreetly heave a sigh a relief. It seemed as though her rent had been troubling her again. Some things never change, Natsu mused.

As the sun began to dip below the horizon, the male members of Team Natsu found themselves regarding the orange hue of the sunset through the windows of a double room in Alia’s Hollow Oak Inn. The room followed the town’s charming outdoor aesthetic to a tee, everything seemingly hand-carved out of Alia’s old oak. The walls were smooth and polished, the table solid and sturdy, the bedframes engraved with small twining vines. The inn was aptly named. Being inside of it, Natsu felt like he was living in some wood fairy’s secret abode in a hollow tree trunk. Despite his fatigue, the thought made him chuckle.

“The old guy wasn’t lying, this place is pretty cozy,” Natsu said as he flopped down onto the bed nearest to the door between the rooms. As he laid back and stretched to ease the tension in his muscles, he noted with pleasure that the beds were soft and pliant, as if they were trying to draw him in and pull him into slumber. It reminded him of Lucy’s bed.

“Yeah, it is,” Gray said noncommittally, as he strode over to his bed and placed his bag down. His eyes were far off somewhere, and he seemed like he was trying to see something over the horizon. “I gotta use the bathroom,” he announced abruptly, setting something down on the end table before striding off to the suite’s restroom. Natsu took little notice of this, until Happy voiced a question after the door swung shut.

“Why did he take the phone with him?” Natsu glanced at the table between their beds, and realized that Happy was right. Gray hadn’t set anything down; he’d surreptitiously taken the communication lacrima from its dock and brought it with him to the bathroom. Natsu sat up on his bed, his eyes moving to the door of the lavatory. What are you up to, snowballs? he wondered. The dragon slayer focused his enhanced hearing on the restroom, trying to pick up the sounds of the ice-make mage. Natsu realized this could be considered vaguely creepy, but dammit if sneaking off with a phone into the toilet wasn’t a bit suspicious. As he concentrated, he began to pick up on some parts of Gray’s end of the conversation, though the man was speaking in low tones and Natsu had gaps where he missed snippets of Gray’s speech.

“Gajeel? Yeah, this is Gray….because I just, uhh, wanted to check in on you guys… No, it’s…”

Why the hell is he calling Gajeel, at this hour, hiding in the bathroom? Natsu was absolutely befuddled by his rival’s behavior, but as he kept listening, it began to get a little clearer.

“Listen, we... heard some weird stuff on our job…just wanted to make sure you and Juvia were okay…No, it’s nothing you need to worry about…not calling just for Juvia! I just…no, don’t tell her I called, you know how she is, she’ll…okay, look here, metal head, one more joke and when you and I get back your ass is scrap metal! Got it? Alright, you know what…yeah, whatever. Good to know you’re not dead, asshole. See ya later.” So that’s what he was calling about. Gajeel and Juvia were on a job as well, and he wanted to check on her! Was she in his nightmare? Normally, the fire dragon slayer would never have passed up on this positively exquisite opportunity to tease and torment Gray, but somehow it just felt wrong to antagonize him over their shared experience. He’s worried just like I was. I sure cried a lot over Lucy when I woke up. Natsu’s thoughts were interrupted when he heard the tell-tale beep of the phone being hung up, and he hurriedly tried to assume a position that didn’t imply he’d just spent a considerable amount of time listening in on Gray’s private conversation. As Gray exited the restroom, the door that connected their room to the adjoining one opened, and a pajama-clad Erza and Lucy stepped through.

“We just wanted to check in on you guys and see how you were doing,” Lucy began with a somewhat sheepish smile.

“Are you two alright? Are you feeling any other ill effects from the magic?” Erza inquired, though with a softer tone than the one she usually used to address the boys.

“We’re pretty wiped, but at least we can keep down dinner,” Gray responded. “I think I’m gonna leave a shower for tomorrow, though. I feel like I haven’t slept in ages.” He made for his bed, the phone concealed in a pocket

“Me too,” groaned Natsu, as he tried and failed to stifle a huge yawn. Now that he it had been mentioned, all the weariness he’d been carrying around with him ever since their encounter that morning had returned full force, and already the room seemed to be getting hazier. 

Lucy seemed to brighten at their reactions. “Well, that’s a lot better than what you were like when you woke up. I’m glad to see you doing okay.”

“We’ll leave to your rest, then.” Erza began to walk back through the door to the girl’s suite.

“Take good care of them, Happy!” Lucy called as the door closed behind her with a muted click.

“Aye…sir…” Happy drowsily mumbled from where he’d already curled up on the unused pillows at the head of Natsu’s bed. Natsu adjusted the blankets and settled into the bed, his mind already slipping away. As he fell asleep, the last things he was aware of was Gray turning off the lamp on the end table, before quietly replacing the communication lacrima on its dock.

The first thing Natsu noticed was the pain. It radiated down from the left side of his collarbone, stretching across his torso to his abdomen, and he became aware of a dull throb in his arm too. He tried to open his eyes, but found them almost sealed shut with grit. As he finally managed to wrench them open, he took in a big rush of air, and instantly regretted doing so. The wound running down the left side of his body flared with agony, and the pink-haired boy gasped in pain. As his vision swam, he saw a familiar face enter his field of vision, and although it was still hazy, there was no mistaking those two blue pigtails.

“Wendy?” Natsu croaked. The sky dragon slayer’s face blurred into focus, and when he could finally see clearly, he realized her eyes were swimming with tears. “H-Hey, why’re you crying?”

“You’re awake!” Wendy suddenly blurted, tears running down her cheeks. “I was so worried! I wasn’t sure if my healing was enough, and you were so hurt, and you wouldn’t wake up, and…” She snuffled, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “But you’re okay, right? You’re not giving me your last words or anything?” Wendy tried to make the last part sound like a joke, but it was clear from her tone and demeanor that the thought was anything but funny to her.

“Last words? Where… where am I, Wendy? What happened…why do I hurt so much?” Natsu attempted to sit up, but his side flared again and Wendy gently placed a hand on his sternum to lower him back down. As he looked up, he saw that they were located in a grove of trees, at least judging from the foliage that he saw in his peripheral vision, and the sky…was blood red.

“It’s okay. It’s natural to have some temporary memory loss after trauma like yours. Your head’s probably just clouded.” Wendy gave him a weary, watery smile, and it suddenly struck Natsu that she looked old. The look was of someone who had seen people in this state too many times, who had seen too many people never open their eyes again. They were the eyes of someone who had weathered horrors in helping people. They reminded Natsu of Porlyusica’s eyes when she looked at someone in their sickbed, shortly after ensuring they would pull through. Wendy shouldn’t look like that. She’s so young. “We brought you to this grove after the fight. Do you remember anything about the fight, Natsu? About where we were?” Wendy asked him.

“I…” Natsu racked his brains, but the empty blankness that he found terrified him. “I can’t remember anything.” Panic struck him then. “Where are we, Wendy? Where is everybody else? Where’s Happy and Lucy? Where’s Erza, and Gray? What happened to me?” Wendy’s eyes suddenly widened with fear.

“Oh gods. Oh, Natsu, you don’t remember anything?” She turned to look at something to the right of Natsu. “What should we do? He…he’s asking about our old team.” Wendy seemed on the verge of tears again. Natsu felt a cold prickle of dread down his spine at the way Wendy said “old team”, and he once again tried to sit up. Gritting his teeth, he managed to somewhat prop himself up on his uninjured side. When he looked to where Wendy was speaking, he saw something he couldn’t comprehend. Sitting with their backs to a grassy berm was a haggard-looking crew, looking at him with expressions of both concern and fatalistic acceptance, as though they had already accepted his condition as another tragedy in a long list of them. The one Wendy appeared to have been looking at was Laxus, a piece of cloth wrapped around one of his legs, his coat missing and his shirt in shambles. Sitting next to him was Levy, her blue hair tangled and dull. She was wrapped in an old blanket, but it was obvious she was extensively bandaged underneath it. Farther off, Natsu noticed a figure that could only have been Jellal, staring at him from the depths of a tattered blue cloak. His hunched posture made it seem as though he was trying his best to vanish into the folds of his coat. Sitting closely to him was a worried looking girl with pink hair that Natsu vaguely recalled was named Meredy. Funny, he thought deliriously, the only thing I can remember in this situation is a girl’s name, and that’s the thing I’m always forgetting. He had no idea why he was with all these people, but they all seemed to know what was going on, judging from their demeanor. Then Laxus spoke.

“Is that true, Natsu? You really don’t remember anything that’s happened? What’s happened to Fiore?” he asked.

Natsu was bewildered. “Happened…to Fiore? I have no idea what happened to Fiore! Nothing should have happened! Where’s my team? What happened to them?” He was beginning to feel the pangs of desperation.

Wendy looked lost for words, and even Laxus seemed to have trouble answering this. He looked away before continuing, as though it was painful. “Natsu, they’re… they didn’t…oh shit, how do I say this…”

“They’re all dead.” Jellal’s voice rang out amongst the clearing, harsh and clear. This shocked the whole group, Meredy letting out a gasp as they all turned to look at him. But all Natsu could comprehend after it was that one sentence, echoing in his mind over and over again now. They’re all dead…They’re all dead…all dead…dead.. 

“No…” Natsu’s first response was barely audible, but his second was not. It was shouted. “NO! That’s not…that’s not even possible! I saw them, just….just a bit…ago…” It was then he realized that he couldn’t remember the last time he had seen the other members of Team Natsu. Any of them. Oh gods, what happened? Jellal straightened, his hood falling from his face, revealing a man haunted. His eyes burned with a hollow, empty fire, like torches thrown down a deep, dark well. Combined with the rest of his appearance, he looked like a madman. A long, jagged scar ran across his face, beginning under his right eye and ending just above his lip. His voice sounded like he was in pain, but it was a bit softer than his first utterance.

“I’m sorry, Natsu, but it’s true. I wish we could all return to some fantasy world where they are all still alive and happy and…with us, but we can’t. And so we can’t let you do that either. I won’t let you forget.”

“Oh gods,” Natsu uttered again, this time out loud,” oh gods, they can’t be…” He put a hand to his forehead, and he felt Wendy’s small hand slip into his and give a reassuring squeeze. “How?” It was the only thing he could think to ask.

“The dragons,” Laxus muttered darkly. “When that damn gate opened at the Grand Magic Games, and they all spilled out…It was over. We lost Gray, Gramps, Elfman, Ever, Mirajane…” His hand tightened into a fist, knuckles whitening. Natsu had never seen Laxus this close to breaking. “And a lot more. They took over the country in a matter of days. We’ve been running ever since then, and lost people along the way too. They got Bickslow and Freed first, then Cana, then… Happy and Carla sacrificed themselves to lead a dragon away from our camp when we were wounded, and when a second once showed up...Erza held it off.” Jellal looked away.

Natsu felt sick and confused. This isn’t right. This isn’t what happened. “But…that didn’t happen! We stopped it! Lucy and Yukino, they closed the Eclipse Gate before all the dragons could get through, and then we destroyed it. We won!” At this seemingly ludicrous statement, the whole group stared at him blankly, unable to comprehend what he had just said. It was then that Levy spoke up for the first time.

“Natsu, who is Lucy?” Then it was Natsu’s turn to stare blankly. What? How does she not know Lucy? At this question, Natsu looked around, and saw the same question written on the faces of the rest of his apparent companion. Panic started to set in

“Wha…How do you guys not remember Lucy? She was a part of the guild! Lucy Heartfilia! She helped close the gate! She fought in the Games! We went to war for her! Levy, you and she talked all the time! I…she was my best friend!” Natsu wasn’t sure what he’d meant to say instead of that. But all he got in return was blank stares and confusion, until Levy narrowed her eyes and spoke.

“Did you say…her last name was Heartfilia?” Her face scrunched up with concentration, until a glimmer of recognition flickered in her eyes. “We were just at the Heartfilia mansion! That’s what the princess said it was. She said they got some of the Celestial Zodiac keys from the Heartfilias, and she gave us directions to their mansion, so we could maybe find another celestial wizard. But…” Her face suddenly fell, and her voice dropped almost to a whisper. “You couldn’t have known any Lucy Heartfilia, Natsu. She was never a member of the guild, never even came to Magnolia. You said yourself you’d never seen the mansion before, just yesterday! Before…before you got hurt.” Her gaze flickered down to his bandaged side. “And… Yukino never closed the gate. She died in Crocus, along with the rest of Sabertooth.”

Natsu couldn’t believe what he’d heard. Lucy…had never joined Fairy Tail? Then why did he remember her? Because even though his memories were foggy, he was sure as hell that there was a beautiful girl in them named Lucy Heartfilia, who was a Celestial Spirit Mage, who always like walking on the edge of the pier, who he’d shared adventures with, who he cared about very dearly. Sometimes, it surprised him how dearly. “What happened at the mansion? How did I get hurt?” He needed to know, but he was afraid of the answer he was going to get.

“The dragons got there first.” Laxus’s voice was a mixture of anger and sadness. “Like they always do. The manor was a ruin. No survivors. When we got there, there were two dragons waiting for us, and before we killed it, one of them tried to gut you.” The older man nodded at Natsu’s wound. “We brought you here.”

At Laxus’s words, Natsu went cold. No survivors…the dragons got there first… “No. No, that’s not true. That can’t be true. I… I need to see! She might still be there.” Natsu began to push himself off the ground, ignoring his body’s screaming pain. There were worse things than pain. Things like being alone. Wendy tried to stop him, but he stood up, face contorted into a gruesome grimace, and started running. He hadn’t realized it before, but he could smell the mansion. Could smell the smoke, and the blood. It smelled like smoke, fire, and dragon blood. Or maybe there was another reason he knew, but he was running too fast to care.

“Natsu! Wait! You can’t go back! They’ll be waiting at the mansion! You can’t…” Wendy’s cries faded as he ran, his hearing making him dimly aware of Meredy telling her it was no use. She was right. He had to see. Because he couldn’t accept it. Lucy couldn’t be dead, not when she had never gotten the chance to live, to join Fairy Tail and find a real family. To find him. And once he found her, they could undo all of this. The Eclipse Gate was a time travel device, right? They could just go back, and fix all of this. But as he crested the hill, he saw it: the once proud Heartfilia manor, now a heap of blackened stone and ash. The area around the house was scorched black and cracked with heat, and the manor itself was a crumbling wreck, with huge piles of ashen wood and melted stone strewn about. In front of it was two large bodies, whose distinctive colored scales and wicked claws made it clear that they were dragons. The sight almost stopped his heart. Lucy. He ran faster, momentum carrying him down the hill at a breakneck pace. When he reached it, he raced past the two scaly carcasses near the front, into the thick of the debris. He looked around frantically. He saw what looked like the remains of a front door, the bottom of the frame looking ready to crumble. The broken shards of a fountain. The cracked skeleton of a cobblestone walkway. The sooty forms of…Oh gods please, no. They were gravesites. Two of them were official, with marble gravestones tarnished by ash and heat, the names barely legible. One read LAYLA HEARTFILIA, the other, JUDE HEARTFILIA. Lucy’s mom and dad. But what ultimately broke Natsu was the third one. This one looked recent, like it had been freshly dug. There was no marble tombstone, just a crude wooden marker that looked like it had been built yesterday. Looking down at his hands, Natsu noticed for the first time that they were blistered. It was impossible they occurred via heat, so that left manual labor. And from where they were, they indicated Natsu had spent a great deal of time recently digging.

“I dug her grave,” Natsu whispered to himself. He went numb, dropping to his knees in front of the family boneyard. I found her body here, and buried her next to her parents. I hope she liked that. Natsu didn’t even notice when the tears began to fall, dripping down onto the freshly turned earth of his partner’s final resting place. He didn’t even look up when the night came alive above him with the roars of dragons.

Natsu startled awake with a gasp, flinging the covers aside as though they were trying to strangle him. He scrambled out of bed, making for where he remembered the door being, only dimly aware of where he was or what was happening. He just knew who he had to see. It was then that the door opened, and two forms rushed in. The lights flicked on, and Natsu was briefly blinded. The sudden rush of sensation stunned him, and a high-pitched ringing in his ears obscured his hearing. Someone rushed over to him, and when he finally opened his eyes, he saw Lucy hurriedly trying to talk to and examine him. He was stuck in this curious limbo of soundless vision for a few more seconds, until his ears finally adjusted and he heard what his partner was trying to say to him. 

“Natsu? Natsu?! Are you alright? What happened? Was it another dream?” Lucy’s hair was disheveled from sleep, and her face was drawn, but her eyes were alight with concern. But despite all this, Natsu still felt numb. It….It was just a dream. She’s still here. And… He looked over Lucy’s shoulder, and saw Happy hovering just behind her, looking at his best friend with worry. 

“You’re alive,” he breathed. “You’re…both alive.” His hand came unbidden to rest on Lucy’s forearm, as though he was trying to reassure himself this wasn’t another demented vision. It wasn’t. He could feel the cotton beneath his fingertips, could sense the gentle pulse beneath it, elevated with stress. “I’m… really glad.” Lucy looked at him, and he saw the depth of concern there in her eyes before she pulled him into a hug. She had looked like his blank expression had frightened her. 

“It’s okay.” She whispered in his ear. “We’re all okay. You’re here. It’ll be okay.” He felt Happy embrace him as well, and when he wrapped his arms around them, he saw what had occurred. Gray was sitting shock still on his bunk, pupils dilated and muscles tense, and Erza was trying to calm him down. He too seemed only semi-aware of his surroundings, like he’d just awakened from the depths of a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So an update on future chapters: Chapter 4 is taking me much longer to write than I previously anticipated, but it is in progress and will be completed...sometime. I wish I could give you guys a better answer than that, but all I can say is that it's a work in progress. But I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and don't forget to leave kudos and comments, if you are so inclined. Thanks guys!


	4. So Damn Slow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody, it's ya boi Slight heyar wit a new chappy for yalls.... I'm just going to go sit in a corner and wither away into nothing for writing that. I'm sorry. I don't know why I did it. But anyway, I had to work through some major writer's block for this chapter, and it's relatively short compared to my others, but I hope you all still enjoy!

_This really sucks._ The thought ran repeatedly through Natsu’s fuzzy head as he nursed the steaming cup of coffee in his hands, the caffeine plucking at his sluggish thoughts and trying to force them to move just a little beyond _this really fucking sucks._ He didn’t even like coffee; the heat was nothing to him, and the beverage tasted like sugared cardboard. At least Lucy had made it, so there was thankfully the “sugared” part of that comparison. Natsu had never had any idea how Erza drank the stuff black. But the stuff had caffeine, and caffeine was supposedly what people who felt like this every day needed, so here it was. _Now I kinda know what Lucy feels like when I drag her out for early jobs. No wonder she’s such a grump._

 He raised his eyes blearily to his surroundings after another long draft, taking in the scene arrayed in his and Gray’s room. Gray predawn light had begun to filter in through the glass, rendering everything muted and soft. He and the ice-make mage were slumped in armchairs, blankets drawn around them, mugs cupped in their hands. Neither had been eager to go back to sleep after their shared dark dreams in the hours previous, so they’d swaddled up on the chairs and kept themselves awake with the Hollow Oak’s complimentary coffee machine. Well, more accurately, Lucy and Erza had kept them awake with it. Neither man had ever had an especial liking for the morning beverage, but when they expressed their desire to avoid the realm of dreams for the rest of the night, the women obliged readily. This was necessary because neither Natsu nor Gray had any idea how to make coffee. The cup Natsu currently clutched had been Lucy’s last batch before she had returned to bed, sleepiness finally forcing her eyelids shut again. But she’d been unwilling to leave Natsu and Gray after their episode, so she instead was currently curled up on the bed that had previously belonged to Natsu. Happy was asleep right next to her, their heads nearly touching while sharing the same pillow, both occasionally inhaling its scent in their slumber. In the kitchenette, Erza was tirelessly steeping another pot of coffee, her own mug steaming next to her. After she pressed the final button on the machine, she padded back over to Natsu and Gray, sinking into the couch in the room and studying them both over the rim of her mug. For once, Gray broke the silence.

“So do we need to bring Mardell back completely unharmed?” he asked, raising a tired eyebrow. “Cause I’d like to kick his ass a little. You know, before we cure him or whatever. Who knows, maybe a nice boot to the head is what he needs to snap out of…whatever the hell is wrong with him. A couple friendly love taps. With extreme prejudice.”

“Right now, I’m more concerned with whatever the hell is wrong with you two,” Erza whispered. “Synchronized nightmares, twice?  Who knows what his new magic is doing up there?” She pointed to her head, brown eyes alight with worry. “You boys need to be evaluated. You’re headed back to Magnolia to see Porlyusica on the first train running today.”

“What?!” whispered Natsu fiercely. “Erza, come on!  You can’t bench us just because we had some bad dreams! Yeah we’re tired, but we’re okay! We can still fight great!” Erza looked like she doubted the truth of that statement very much, and frankly, Natsu couldn’t either. He was still trying to convince himself.

“I can, and I will, Natsu. We need to know what is happening to you two, what Mardell did, and whether it can be reversed. For all we know, the same thing that happened to Mardell could be happening to you right now. We can’t risk you running into him again. And besides,” Erza, continued, taking a sip of coffee, “you’re not the only ones I’m doing this for.” Her gaze softened. “We’re worried about you. We want you to be okay. You should have seen those two when you were knocked out,” she said, indicating the snoozing Happy and Lucy. “Happy was hysteric, and Lucy kept up a brave face, but I could tell she was scared. Truth be told… I was too.” Erza paused, her expression becoming troubled and far off. “I told you my synthetic eye saved me, which was partially true. But what I think is more accurate is that it prevented me from feeling the full effects of his powers. Because when I looked into his eyes, I felt something. And heard…someone.”

“Who?” Gray asked.

Erza shuddered, a hand coming unconsciously to rub her throat. “Jellal. But, as he was at the Tower of Heaven. Not as we know him now. I could hear his voice, like he was whispering into my ear, right next to me in that clearing. It was… disconcerting, to say the least.” The requip mage’s eyes refocused on Natsu and Gray, hiding the glint of sadness that had crept into them. “Whatever that ability, it isn’t natural, and it isn’t right. We need to guarantee that this doesn’t happen again. So you boys are going back to Magnolia, and you’re getting examined by Porlyusica. No argument.”

“Well… alright then.” Gray leaned back into his chair, draining the last of his coffee cup in one swig.

* * *

The quintet stood on the platform of the train station, an eerie sense of déjà vu creeping into Natsu. That and a heaping helping of dread. _Why can’t we ever walk back?_ he thought with a gulp, glancing at the train idling in the station. As it turned out, there was a cross-continental line that would be stopping at Magnolia later on that day, and was currently taking on more passengers at Alia’s local station. Unfortunately, it was due to depart before Lyon’s train would arrive. Gray blew it off nonchalantly, but Natsu could tell he was disappointed.

“Don’t worry,” Lucy told him sunnily, “we’ll make sure to tell him you said hi.”

Erza looked sympathetically at Lucy. “I certainly will, but I’m afraid you’ll be otherwise occupied. You’ll be accompanying Natsu and Gray back to Magnolia.” Suddenly, the dread at the pit of Natsu’s stomach felt a little lighter.

“I will?” Lucy looked confusedly at Erza. “Why? Don’t you need help here?” Erza shook her head.

“I’m more concerned with making sure these two knuckleheads go in for their exam, and you’re going to ensure they do,” she said authoritatively. “And besides, with his magic apparently being visual, the only one who has any kind of built in immunity to it is me. I don’t want to risk anyone else being affected.”

Gray spoke up. “But I thought you heard-“

“I can deal with what I heard.” Erza stated firmly, but not without a hint of apprehension. “It’s not the first time I’ve had to, and it’s just an illusion. It’s not real.” She sounded like she was reassuring both them and herself. “And I’ve always got this,” she added humorously, producing a worn brown eye patch from her requip space.

Lucy giggled at that. “Well, okay then, if you’re sure. Guess we better get going then, guys.” She gestured at the train behind them. The four took their leave of Erza, and began walking towards the boarding area. Natsu whispered to her as they neared the train.

“So the plan is to wait until we’re out of sight and then jump off and walk back to Magnolia, right?” He looked down at her hopefully.

“Nope,” Lucy replied, a smile on her face.

“Wrap us all in a sack and let Happy carry us back?”

“I’m not a pack mule, you know, Natsu!” Happy said indignantly.

“Gray makes us a catapult and launches us back?”

“In your dreams, Flame Brain.”

Natsu turned back to Lucy, trying to do his best kicked puppy expression. “I sleep on your lap all the way back?”

Lucy’s face was suddenly glowing red. _I’m pretty sure that’s a new record._ “F-fine. Only because it seems to help you.” Natsu could practically smell Gray’s smirk.

The train wound its way back through the countryside, and Natsu would swear on his grave that this one was twice as slow. He was currently resting his head on Lucy’s lap, his stomach roiling but thankfully staying put in his body. He had originally planned to sleep his way back, but it evaded him. _With what happened the last couple times I tried it, maybe that’s a good thing,_ he mused. Happy was currently passed out next to him, his head lolled onto Lucy’s side. Gray had gone to find the restaurant car for some food, and was out of the compartment at the moment. Natsu glanced up at Lucy, and saw she was gazing out the window with a troubled expression. He remembered something then.

“Hey, Luce?” he said quietly.

“Oh, Natsu, you’re awake! Are you okay?” Lucy looked back down at him, and Natsu realized she had been stroking his hair again when he felt her hand suddenly still. _Aww._

“When I woke up, back in the forest, Happy said I had been making weird noses when I was asleep. What did he mean by that?”

A small blush began to creep up Lucy’s neck at his words, but she held his gaze. “You were…crying out, in your sleep. I think you were trying to call out to someone.”

“Who?” 

“You called out for Happy some,” she said, brushing a strand of hair back into place. “And you kept saying “please” and “no”. And near the end…” She paused, looking at him with a strange emotion in her eyes. “You started saying my name a lot. And you were crying, and it sounded like you were trying to…convince me of something.” Lucy’s eyes seemed to bore directly into Natsu’s soul at that moment. “Natsu, what did you see in those dreams? When you woke up this morning, you looked at us like you didn’t believe we were real. Like you couldn’t believe we were _alive._ Why?

Natsu closed his eyes, a painful grimace marring his features. _I don’t want to do this. I shouldn’t put this on her. I should just deal with it like I always do._ But when he opened his eyes again, the look on Lucy’s face sent a resounding _YES_ through his mind and the floodgates opened. “When it first happened, I… I saw all my friends. I saw them all dying. They were dying, and I couldn’t do anything about it, and then I tried to and I ended up just screwing it all up and,…And then I saw you, and you looked at me like I had done nothing wrong and I was the best friend you’d ever had, and I just, just wanted to prove that, and then I saw the shadow and I just…” his voice wavered for a second, but he pushed on. “And you were dying, like you did back in Crocus, and I was just _useless_ and I just wanted you to stay…” His hands curled into fists, and his voice got angry. “And I failed. And then in the next one, I’d failed again, and everyone had lost hope, and I’d never even _known_ you, and then when I woke up… It was like I was in the afterlife.” Natsu looked up at his partner, and he could see all his worry and pain reflected in her lustrous eyes. “That’s the worst part. Waking up from these dreams, it’s not like regular nightmares.” _Mavis knows I’ve had plenty of those too._ “It feels like dying. They’re so real, when you leave, it’s like you become a different person.” When Natsu finished speaking, he knew he hadn’t said half of what he’d meant to. But he just couldn’t bring himself to share with Lucy all the grisly details of his dreams, all the sensations, like the smell of death and blood clinging to her instead of vanilla or the blisters on his hands that had hurt worse than any burn, or the feel of Gray’s flesh burning away to nothing, or the wetness of Erza’s blood. _Deal with it, Natsu. It’s your problem, not hers._

Lucy looked down at him with sympathy and concern. “It’s okay, Natsu. You haven’t failed anybody. We’re all still here, and we’re going to get whatever sick magic this is out of you and you’ll be right as rain. Deal?” She smiled then, and it made Natsu believe everything she said, and it seemed so easy when it did.

“Deal.”

“Uh, you guys?” Gray’s head poked through the opening of the door. “You do realize the train stopped ten minutes ago, right? I would recommend getting off, unless you’re interested in taking a scenic trip through Bosco.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please commence with the awarding of the kudos and comments if you feel so inspired, good patrons.


	5. Kill Your Mind

Natsu stood on the platform of Magnolia Station, stretched his arms above his head as far as they could go, and inhaled a huge gulp of air through his nose. The familiar scents rushed through his senses and calmed him. It was like he could almost feel his body relaxing, the muscles loosening and knots coming undone. He let out the breath with a large sigh. "There's no place like home, eh, guys?" He glanced around at his companions, who had all visibly brightened from the sight of the familiar scenery.

"You can say that again," Gray let out with a huff. Lucy seemed more energized at the sight of the bustling terminal, and Happy was happily orbiting around the group.

"Yeah, it's good to be back." The blonde mage said gladly. "But now comes the tough part." She looked between Natsu and Gray with sympathy, and the expression was discomforting to them to say the least.

"Tough part? What tough part? Isn't that over?" Happy asked tentatively.

"Nope," Lucy said with a wry smile. "The tough part is where we have to go next."

Natsu, Gray, and Happy all looked at Lucy and then at each other, and the weight of reality hit them like a load of bricks as they all dismally spoke at the same time.

"Porlyusica."

* * *

The gnarled tree house loomed before the group, and even though it was a bright and sunny day, it couldn't have looked any more foreboding to Natsu. _I mean, come on,_ he thought as walked towards the structure with crossed arms and a hesitant gait. _I can understand living in the forest, but why did she have to put her house IN a tree?_ He considered further. _Or is it just scary because of who lives in it?_ Thoughts like this swirled around his head as they stopped at the small staircase in front of the house. Lucy looked around expectantly at the boys, and received three blank stares in return. With a sigh, and a bit of a preemptive cringe, she knocked on the knotted wooden door.

Team Natsu waited in silence for about five seconds before the door swung upon. Standing in the entrance way was Fairy Tail's very own misanthropic healer, who came readily armed with her trademark broom and vicious scowl.

"What do you want?" Porlyusica glared down at Lucy, her gaze then traveling to Gray and Natsu in succession. Just the sight of those red orbs made Natsu feel like his flesh was being peeled back and every inch of him was being scrutinized.

"Uh, well, we wouldn't be bothering you if it wasn't important," Lucy stammered out, "but, ah, we were on a mission, and we were searching for someone, and…" she hesitated.

"Yes?" the witch said expectantly.

"And, well, we found him. But it wasn't him, really. He had these weird black and gold eyes, and when Natsu and Gray looked at him, they collapsed." Lucy's voice picked up in confidence as she found a rhythm in her narrative, but the note of nervousness was still there. "They had these really bad nightmares, and when they woke up we thought it was just dream magic, you know? But then that night-"

"They had them again, didn't they?" Porlyusica finished Lucy's story with a question made more as a statement, her eyes once again moving to the two men behind Lucy. "Judging by their pallor and the suitcase sized bags under their eyes." She turned around and strode back into her house, crooking a hand to indicate that the group should follow. Her voice rang out to them as they took in all of the strange acrid smells and eldritch tomes in the healer's abode.

"Well this is a novelty. I usually don't see Makarov's brats until you're lying on my floor, out cold and knocking on death's door. Remarkable foresight, coming to me _before_ that happens."

Happy decided to finally poke into the conversation. "Well, unless they're at that point, we usually can't persuade them to come here…" His volume dropped rapidly when Porlyusica turned her head and gave a Happy a glare that could have frozen a lake. She indicated that Lucy and Happy should sit on a set of chairs near the window. When the Exceed had been subdued, she turned back and began rifling through a drawer, checking labels and formulas. She finally found what she was looking for, and produced a beaker of clear liquid that looked for all intents and purpose like water. She then produced two glasses, and proceeded to pour some of the liquid into each one. She talked as she poured. "I have my suspicions as to what's caused these night terrors, but to be certain, you two will need to drink this." She handed a glass to Natsu and Gray each.

The dragon slayer caught a whiff of the scent, and his nose wrinkled. "Is this vodka?"

Porlyusica let out a snort. "If it was, it'd be the worst vodka you've ever had. But I suppose it could help to think of it like a shot, because you'll need to drink the whole thing before your gag reflex kicks in."

"That's…reassuring," Gray said as held the glass as one would hold something radioactive.

"Do you want me to help you or not?"

Natsu and Gray looked at each other, and then down at their prescribed medication, and sighed. They brought the glasses up to their lips and knocked the drink back. They regretted it instantly.

"Gah!" Natsu nearly _did_ gag as the mystery liquid slithered down his throat, leaving behind a taste that he strongly suspected was what alcohol mixed with oil tasted like. Its consistency resembled water, but its aftertaste gave it the sensation of still being there on his tongue.

"This stuff tastes like death and the tears of small children!" Gray exclaimed, aptly in Natsu's opinion.

"Excellent deductive skills, boy." Porlyusica said dryly, raising an eyebrow. "That's exactly what I used as ingredients in this solution." Her deadpan expression actually made a tiny part of Natsu believe it. "Now then, that's step one."

"Step one? The hell is step two?" Gray was the picture of indignity.

"You should both shortly experience the urgent need to urinate," the pink-haired witch recited, before producing two more cups with plastic lids. "I will need a sample."

There was silence in the tree house for about five seconds, and then it broke. "WHAT?!" Gray and Natsu exclaimed at once, their voices ringing out loud enough that a flock of doves that had alighted on a tree branch outside shook their wings and took off in flight.

"You… you want… Why?!" Natsu's expression was a mixture of bewilderment and embarrassment.

Porlyusica raised an eyebrow. "Is it really that much of an issue?"

Gray looked flabbergasted. "I… I mean, it's just…"

The witch scoffed. "What? Been a little too adventurous in your careers?"

"NO!" Now both Natsu and Gray's faces were glowing.

Natsu was trying to put what was bothering him into words. "It's just… We've never had to do that before…"

Gray nodded his head, and then shrugged weakly at Lucy. "And especially not in, um, present company."

She squeaked when she saw the gazes of everyone in the room turn to her. "Um, I can leave if you need, of course!" she added quickly, waving her hands in a pacifying motion.

Porlyusica turned to Lucy and replied. "And why would you do that when there's a forest of perfectly good foliage outside for these two to use?"

"So we don't have to do it in the house?" Gray asked.

"No. Did you expect me to let you two use my bathroom?"

"Well…yeah, kinda."

Porlyusica looked at them like they'd suggested she put on a sombrero and teach them how to dance the salsa.

"Okay, we get it." Gray sounded like he was trying to defuse a bomb with his voice. "But _why_ exactly do we need to do this?" He still wanted to know.

The healer's eyes narrowed. "Persistent, aren't you? Fine. It is my strong suspicion that you have been exposed to infection-type magic," she explained. "The fluid I just gave you is supposed to identify and mix with your natural respective magic, and isolate anything that doesn't gel with it. In a sense, it acclimates to what's supposed to be there, and then figures out what's not supposed to be. If you aren't infected, you shouldn't feel anything. If you are, you should feel nature's call right about…now."

And just like she said, Natsu suddenly felt the burning urge to seek a bathroom. Or, more accurately, a tree.

Ten minutes later Gray and Natsu returned with their samples, and then sat with Lucy and Happy in awkward silence in Porlyusica's living room as the woman examined their bodily fluids in her lab. She emerged a little while later, holding yet another pair of vials, along with two jars that contained different colored liquids: One was a lava-colored red, while the other was sky-blue. She set them down on the table in front of the group, and began to talk. "It's as I suspected. You've both been exposed to a particularly nasty kind of infection magic." At the blank looks on Natsu, Gray, Lucy, and Happy's faces, she let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. "You see, infection spells implant a piece of the user's magic into the victim's, and then the effects vary from there. This kind seems to cause nightmares, and if it keeps growing, would likely have graduated to full-blown hallucinations and waking dreams. You two are lucky you came to me when you did." She indicated the jars in front of her. "I've concocted an antidote for you each to take, to help your magic repel the invading one." Her gaze sharpened then, and her tone became even more serious. "But be warned, this process won't be pleasant. As you attempt to drive the magic out, it'll become more volatile and reactive. The nightmares will get worse before they get better, and they'll continue for several days."

Natsu gulped. "Really?" The dreams he'd had already had been bad enough. _I don't want to know what's worse than what I've seen already._ He looked over at Gray, and while the ice mage kept a stoic expression, Natsu could see his jaw clench. He could almost hear the grinding of teeth in his skull.

"You guys will be okay," Lucy said reassuringly. "I mean, we've beaten some of the toughest criminals in Fiore. What are some bad dreams, compared to Grimoire Heart?" At that, Natsu allowed Lucy a weak smile, and suddenly felt a little ashamed when he remembered a rain-soaked island and one of the only times he'd ever felt so remarkably outclassed.

"I guess you're right, Luce. It sounds kinda silly, us gettin' all worked up over this stuff now, right?"

"It's not silly," she reassured him, determined, "it's meant as encouragement by perspective. You guys will get through this. You've got me and Happy to help, too." At this, the blue Exceed finally perked up.

"Aye, sir!"

Porlyusica nodded then, like she was acknowledging the challenge that they'd undertaken, and just like that the door was open and she looked very much like she wanted them to leave. The group moved to follow, but Lucy paused at the doorway.

"Oh, Miss Porlyusica?"

"What?" the pink-haired woman said exasperatedly.

"Is there any way this kind of magic is…transferable, from someone who's been infected to someone who's not?"

Porlyusica's expression turned thoughtful. "I'm assuming you are talking about the mage who used the magic on these boys." Her eyes sharpened. "I've never heard of that kind of chain effect, in all my years. Even at a fully developed stage, infection magic shouldn't transfer from another victim. The only person who can use infection magic on someone is the caster."

Lucy looked like she wanted to ask more questions, but she decided against it, and simply thanked Porlyusica for her help. The group began to walk, until Gray spoke up.

"What kind of magic did Lyon say Mardell used?"

Lucy paused. "Wind magic. He said he used wind magic."

"So…what does that mean?" Natsu asked. "He had to have been the one who cast it, right?"

Lucy's expression turned troubled. "It means that either he was defending himself, thinking we were enemies, or…"

"What?" But Natsu thought he already knew the answer.

"Or Lamia Scale didn't know Logan Mardell as well as they thought they did."

* * *

The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon as they followed the winding path out of the forest, Natsu and Gray both clutching their medicine jars under one arm. The quartet of friends arrived first at Natsu and Happy's familiar house, the crooked sign and ramshackle look filling Natsu with something that felt like relief. He turned to look at his two human friends.

"Well, I think me and Happy are going to hit the hay, guys." His eyes went to Lucy first. "Thanks for…" _Letting me sleep on your lap and hug the living daylights out of you,_ he might have said. _For not thinking less of me when I cried my eyes out in front of you. For being my friend. For…_ "Everything," he finishes lamely.

It must have been the way he said it, or maybe his expression, but Natsu could detect the faint beginnings of a flush creeping up the celestial mage's cheeks. "Of course, Natsu. Hope you sleep better tonight." She said with a smile.

"Try not to burn the house down in a night terror, ash-brain," Gray scoffed, which meant essentially "have a good night" in Gray and Natsu's parlance. It was only fair Natsu respond in kind.

"Yeah yeah, whatever, popsicle stick. Don't cry for mommy too much." With that, he walked towards the door and opened it, waiting for Happy to say his goodbyes and waving goodbye to Lucy one more time before closing it. He almost immediately flopped into his hammock, before remembering the jar and vial he'd been given earlier. Groaning, he set the jar down on the counter, before uncorking the smaller container. He opened the jar and filled the vial to the brim, before shooting a tormented glance at Happy. The Exceed snickered.

"Who're you more scared of more when you don't take that? Erza or Porlyusica?"

Natsu wordlessly drank the vial. To his surprise, this medicine tasted nothing like the first. It was surprisingly sweet and spicy, and the only unpleasantness it afforded was a strange aftertaste left on his tongue. His prescription filled for the night, Natsu climbed into his hammock, the cloth comfortingly wrapping around him. From across the room, he heard Happy's voice float over to him.

"Natsu?"

"Yeah, little buddy?"

"What do you see in those nightmares?"

Natsu let a gust of air out through his nose, trying to find a way to satisfy Happy's concern and still not give away too many details about what his dreams actually contained. He didn't need to know any more than Lucy did, and less, if Natsu could help it.

"A…A lot of bad stuff, Happy. Friends dying. Me failing to help them. You get it."

"So they're like your usual nightmares, but worse?"

"Yeah. A lot worse. But same idea."

"I'm here whenever you want to actually tell me something, you know."

Despite himself, Natsu smiled. "Yeah, I know, buddy. 'Night."

"Good night Natsu."

* * *

When Natsu opened his eyes, he saw nothing but the gray of the stone ceiling above him. The small cot he was on was hard and uncomfortable, and he groaned as he sat up, the muscles of his back protesting. His cell looked the same as it always did: empty and cold. He turned to face the bars as he sat on the bed, and fifteen minutes later, the guard came through with the food cart. _Right on time._

With his usual plate of gruel, however, there was a note. _Visitor in five._ Natsu braced himself, for whomever it was this time. The question was answered when he heard footsteps echo down the hallway, and a figure in shiny steel armor with scarlet hair stopped in front of the bars. Erza looked at him with a mixture of pity and sadness.

"Hello, Natsu."

"Hey Erza." Natsu's cast his eyes towards the ground, not willing to see the look on the requip mage's face for the whole conversation. "How is everybody?"

"The guild is doing well. We had our S-Class trials a few weeks ago. Juvia and Freed both made it. Lucy too."

"Really? Good for them. Tell Gray better luck next year. Except not really." Natsu smiled, and even though he couldn't put all of the joy into it that he used to, it at least felt genuine, which was better than most of his grins these days.

Erza even smiled back. "I will," she said.

"So Lucy's S-Class now, so soon after... Wow. Did, uh…she ask about me at all? From last time, when Mira came to visit? And Happy, how's he? Still following Carla around?"

Erza responded delicately. "Happy's been good. He goes on missions with Lucy or Wendy now, whichever's first out the door. I think Carla's warmed to him more. And Lucy…she's been okay. I don't see her around much anymore. She's always out on jobs, or training somewhere. That's part of why she made the jump to S-Class so fast."

"But does she ever ask about me? Does Happy?"

The red haired woman sighed. "Happy does. He wanted me to tell you…well," Erza wrestled with whatever she was about to say for about two seconds, and then pressed on. "He wanted to say that he's sure Lucy will come around eventually. She still doesn't want to talk to you, Natsu. I'm sorry."

_I should know better than to expect anything else,_ Natsu thought. That didn't make the pain in his chest any better. "S'alright, Erza. I can't blame her. Hell, I wouldn't want to talk to me, after what I did. You always did have more guts than me."

Erza tried to laugh, perhaps trying to lighten the heavy mood that had settled in the space between them, but it came out strangled and hollow. "It took you a life sentence to finally admit that? I feel honored. Or maybe insulted. I'm not sure which."

An awkward silence stretched between them then, and Natsu could almost feel the weight of the words unsaid on his back, all the things he wished he could tell his friends that he didn't have the heart to say anymore. Finally, Erza took her leave.

"Well, I hope you stay in good health Natsu. I think Loke said he wanted to be the next to visit."

"You guys must be really running out of people who can stomach being in the same room as me," he said glumly.

"That's not it, Natsu, you know that." Erza's words sounded sure, but her tone said she was anything but. "Goodbye for now."

As he heard the door at the end of the ward slam shut, Natsu sighed. He turned back around and once again lay on the bed, his eyes settling on the same patch of stone as before. _Better get used to it,_ he thought. _They don't call it a life sentence for nothing._ His last thought was of if he'd ever hear from his partner again. The chances didn't seem high. Most people took a while to get over being burned.

* * *

The hammock was too tight around him. It was enveloping him, trying to hold him in his dreams and he wanted _out._ Natsu woke with a strangled cry, and struggled about in his hammock until he finally tumbled on to the floor with a muffled _thump._ Almost immediately, Happy was at his side, words of encouragement flowing.

"Natsu, are you alright? You had another nightmare, didn't you? I'm right here, you're safe, we're at home-"

"I'm alright, Happy," Natsu cut the cat off before he could go any further. "I'm fine, it's okay." He felt warm all over, too warm, but it certainly wasn't as bad as his previous reactions to these dreams. He staggered to his feet, and steadied himself against the wall. Just as quickly, though, he felt the need to escape the house. He felt claustrophobic in it, like the walls were closing in, and he needed to be somewhere else right now. So he started for the door.

"Hey, where are you going?" Happy asked, confused.

"I need some fresh air," Natsu replied, taking a big gulp of the cool night breeze as he opened his door. "I'm gonna go for a walk."

"I'll come with y-"

"I'm fine, Happy. I'll be alright. You stay, and sleep." He could tell the Exceed wanted to protest, so Natsu immediately closed the door and began walking down the path tout of the forest. The moon was high in the sky, and its silvery glow lit his way into town.

Natsu had no idea where he was going, but he knew he needed to walk right now and just enjoy being _free_ after that dream, so he kept walking. Eventually, he stopped, and heard the trickle of water in the canal, and saw the cobblestones glowing dully in the moonlight. _I'm at Lucy's apartment,_ Natsu realized. Before he even realized what he was doing, his hands and feet were finding the well-worn nooks and crannies in the side of the building, and he was ascending towards the window. He reached the windowsill, and peered in to Lucy's room. Sure enough, she was asleep on her bed, her eyes scrunched tightly closed and her hair spilling around her face. She looked peaceful. Perhaps that's what gave Natsu pause when his fingers found the clasp to the window. He hesitated, and even as his shoulders and calves burned at the exertion during his rest hours, he couldn't bring himself to intrude, tonight of all nights. _She doesn't want to see me like this. What am I doing, bringing her more of my problems?_ He shook his head, as though to clear it of his pesky thoughts, and then began his descent. _I promised myself I wouldn't tell her any more about these nightmares. They're my problems, not hers._ Natsu didn't know why he was so opposed to letting Lucy in on his dreams any more than he already had. Perhaps it was that she seemed to play an integral part in all of them, or more accurately, her absence was integral. He shuddered when he remembered what he'd thought about in his dream. He'd hurt her, somehow, that was for sure, and even though Natsu knew he would never do that in real life, he still didn't feel good enough to crawl into her bed right now. Either way, Natsu found himself at the bottom of the apartment again, unwilling to enter and unwilling to leave. So he settled on slumping at the foot of the apartment, his back resting against the hard stone of its wall. As he looked up at the window one last time, his eyes drifted to the gray stone of the building behind him. Natsu lapsed into a state of semi-restfulness, thinking of a hard cot and gray stone walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!


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